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We all experience difficult struggles in life. Every day, people have disagreements at home, projects go sideways at work and we encounter setbacks with goals.
Over the years, I’ve noticed that how quickly we rebound from these trials and tribulations is directly correlated with the beliefs and values we have about ourselves and life, as well as how we speak to ourselves. Believing, saying and practicing the following five mantras is incredibly useful when attempting to recover from any challenge.
Related: 5 Mantras of Successful Entrepreneurs You Can Use to Improve Your Life and Habits
1. I can do this. Things will work out.
Whenever we’re experiencing any kind of setback or failure, it’s tempting to start to doubt ourselves more wholly. Our feelings can start to snowball and we can create a domino effect in our lives.
We’ll start by focusing on that one client we didn’t sign or that one deal that didn’t go through and begin to conclude that “maybe I’m just not right for this job” or “maybe I shouldn’t even be doing this at all.” We can even get into imposter syndrome. Because of this negative thinking, we’ll often create a self-fulfilling prophecy and bring about more of the very thing we’re trying to avoid. Our negative thinking will cause us to have more failures and we’ll feel vindicated — which will lead to the next domino falling.
The opposite works, too. Instead of concluding that all is lost after a setback, instead ask: “What can I learn from this? How can I use this to make me better?”Don’t think long about the one thing that didn’t work out. Instead, refocus your energy on the things that are going well.
The more you believe in yourself and have faith in your abilities, the better you’ll rebound from setbacks. When we believe that things will work out, they usually do, especially when we’re dedicating consistent effort toward our goals. Continue to take steps toward them, no matter what.
Related: 15 Ways to Drown Out the Destructive Voices in Your Head
2. The past doesn’t matter. I can let this go.
When we feel harmed or hurt, we tend to hang onto it for longer than we should. The past is written — it can’t be changed. If we’re reflecting on the past to help us learn from our mistakes, that’s one thing. Find the lessons, then move on with new insight and wisdom.
However, we often don’t look at the past to guide us. We look back and dwell, which results in us staying stuck. Rehashing what didn’t go our way or venting about what someone else should’ve said or done rarely serves us. Our brains can’t focus on two disparate things at once, so anytime we’re ruminating on the past, we’re rarely focusing on what we can control in the present and how excited we are for the future.
Instead, make a conscious decision to forgive others (and yourself) for mistakes. Sometimes people will say: “But it’s so hard to get over this!” Sure, it can be hard to let something go, but I guarantee you that you do have a choice in that. Choose to focus your conscious energy on who you are trying to become in the future.
Related: 7 Ways Companies Can Harness Failure to Drive Success
3. I’m sorry. I will fix this.
When we’ve experienced conflict with someone, it’s not always easy to take accountability or responsibility and focus on the part of the situation that we can mend. We like to focus on what’s been done to us instead.
We’ll often even say, “That wasn’t my fault.” Assigning blame elsewhere can feel good because it takes us out of the hot seat and helps us feel that our reactions are justified. This might feel good at the time, but it rarely serves us. Instead, have the humility to say: “You’re right. I did that, and I’m sorry. Here’s what I’m going to do about it.”
When we do that, a few things happen. First, others respect us more. Second, we pull ourselves back into our circle of control and identify actions that we plan to take to improve things. Third, we lead by example and show others what it looks like to also do this. The result? We improve situations much faster and create a brand and reputation for taking ownership.
4. I need help.
Sometimes, it can be scary to ask for help. Many of us feel that if we’re capable and successful, we should figure out how to do it all ourselves. It’s nice to feel strong, and asking for help can make us feel weak. However, it takes a strong person to ask for help.
Rome wasn’t built in a day, and it also wasn’t built by one person. Most people enjoy being asked to help. Don’t be afraid to find others around you who are better at something than you are or have strengths in an area you lack and leverage them. You don’t have to do it all yourself. Find people you admire and trust, then be vulnerable and say you could use some assistance. That’s part of building great relationships and it’s actually what great leaders and professionals do.
Related: Asking for Help Might Be the Key to Your Success
5. I made a mistake and that’s okay.
All too often, we fear failure. We think that success and failure are diametrically opposed, but that’s not true at all — failure is part of success.
There are few examples of highly successful people who didn’t struggle greatly or err numerous times on their journey. When we embrace mistakes, we tend to enjoy the journey of life far more. Mistakes often mean that we’re experimenting and trying something new, which puts us out of our comfort zones and makes us learn.
Be willing to be uncomfortable and try new things, regardless of how poorly it might go on the first try. Plan to struggle and embrace it when you do. When you do that, you begin a process of growth and change. It’s hard to grow without being uncomfortable, making mistakes and having a few failures. If you truly want to evolve, then get comfortable with these things. The sooner you can adopt that mindset, the faster you’ll advance and the better you’ll feel doing it.
