Responding to a cheating dilemma, she said:
“If your brother or your father has two wives, then maybe you should manage your own like that. I don’t know where this idea of fidelity came from in Africa. The majority of our men cheat. I mean, your father cheated, your grandfather cheated. My father has two wives. So, I don’t know where it came from. I can tell you to stay or leave. That’s on you. You leave this one, you go to the next one, you’ll still have the same issue. They all cheat. Most of them cheat. 90% of men cheat. It’s ingrained in them.”
It’s a statement that captures a painful truth, a sweeping generalisation, and a cultural inheritance, all at once.
At the heart of Akintola’s comment lies a question that deserves unpacking: Is fidelity truly a foreign concept to African men, or has society excused infidelity so consistently that it feels like tradition?
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"I don't know where this idea of fidelity came from in Africa… 99.9% of the men that you meet in Nigeria will cheat."
– Bimbo Akintola pic.twitter.com/MplRGSjVTo
— @𝗼𝗻𝗲𝗷𝗼𝗯𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗯𝗼𝘆 (@OneJoblessBoy) August 23, 2025
Is fidelity a foreign concept?
When Bimbo says, “I don’t know where this idea of fidelity came from in Africa,” she touches on something historical.
Precolonial African societies were polygamous in nature.
Kings, chiefs, and common men often took multiple wives, not only as a show of wealth or power but also as a socio-political strategy; wives were alliances, companions, a way to strengthen their heir bloodlines and communities.
Within that system, fidelity to one woman was neither expected nor required.
But colonialism and Christianity redefined marriage. Monogamy was positioned as moral and ideal.
Yet, culture has a way of surviving, and many men continued to practice polygamy, whether formally or informally, which constitutes infidelity.
In today’s Africa, especially urban Nigeria, cheating often wears the mask of “tradition,” even when the man is officially married to just one woman.
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The inheritance of infidelity
Bimbo’s words also highlight how cheating is normalized through generational observation.
“Your father cheated, your grandfather cheated, my father has two wives…”
This inheritance creates a self-fulfilling cycle. Boys grow up watching men cheat without consequence, while girls are raised to “manage” infidelity as if it were an inevitable part of marriage.
This explains why many African women are advised to endure, stay for the children, and look the other way. Fidelity, in this light, is not just about the man’s choice; it becomes about the community’s complicity.
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Myth, masculinity, and excuses
One of the most dangerous ideas embedded in this discourse is the claim that infidelity is “ingrained” in men.
By suggesting that cheating is biological or inevitable, men are absolved of accountability, while women are burdened with endurance.
This narrative ties masculinity to conquest: the more women a man can “handle,” the more respected he earns from his peers and society.
Yet, the same culture punishes women harshly for the same act. A cheating husband may be excused, but a cheating wife risks divorce, ostracism, or even violence.
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Fidelity as a choice, not a myth
If fidelity feels foreign in African marriages, it is not because it is unnatural, it is because it has been historically undervalued.
Fidelity is not about biology, but about discipline, honesty, and respect for one’s partner. To argue that “90% of men cheat” is to reduce complex human behavior to inevitability.
Yes, cheating may be widespread. But it is not universal. There are men who remain faithful, just as there are women who do not.
The danger of sweeping statements like Bimbo’s is that they condition people to accept dysfunction as culture, discouraging them from demanding better.
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